Of course this list is far from being exhaustive. But exercising these 9 simple things can strengthen and flourish your relationship. Not only will you create a more loving and accepting environment but you’ll both notice a shift in your mood, behaviour, and reactions to each other. Always choose to see the best, believe the best, do the best, and be the best for each other.
©2017 Susie Lee
Expectations. We all have them. We expect someone to do something. We expect something from someone. It’s okay to have them but it’s not okay to impose them on other people. This is unfair and sometimes, very cruel. Of course we’d never admit we impose expectations on others but a sure way to know if we do is when we experience frustration and disappointment when they don’t comply.
Expectations stem from our own needs. Period. It has nothing to do with anyone else fulfilling them or not fulfilling them. Our expectations come from our fears (or insecurities) within us. And overtime, we adopted an unhealthy pattern of looking to others to help us cope with our fears. This pattern of thinking is not only self-destructive but will also destroy relationships. Our expectations will suppress their freedom of speech and choice. They’ll comply to our demands out of fear, and not out of love.
If you’re in this place now, it’s time to do some soul searching. Ask yourself some hard questions: Why do I feel like I have to do this? Why do I feel like they have to do this with me? Why is this important to me? What would happen if I didn’t do it? What am I afraid of? It’s unrealistic to expect others to meet your needs. All you can do is share your need and release any obligation of meeting them. It’s okay to request but never demand. But you have to accept the fact that the answer may be a ‘No’.
May we look for answers within first before we expect it from others.
©2016 Susie Lee
As we’re half way through the year, I wonder how many of our New Year’s resolutions have fallen to the wayside? Now would be a good time to re-evaluate whether or not we want to pursue them instead of carrying them over, year after year. If we want to keep them then we need to stop making excuses and start working on them now. This will take time, discipline, and focus everyday. We’ll need to say ‘no’ to certain things that hinder our progress and cause distractions. We must contribute daily to our resolution until it comes to fruition.
Or perhaps our priorities changed over the last 6 months, which has affected our lack of contribution to our resolution. If that’s the case, I encourage us to adopt a new resolve – a daily resolve to love those around us by spending time with them or helping them. We’re all allotted the same amount of minutes in each day; the only difference is how we choose to use them. And what better way to spend our time then to make a difference in someone else’s life. Our resolutions don’t always have to be grandiose it could simply mean making another person’s day brighter.
Let’s make the most of the next 6 months!
©2016 Susie Lee
Be happy now – not when you get the promotion or find the love of your life. Be happy now, for our lives are made up of moments. And each moment, we’re given a choice – we can choose to be happy or unhappy. Yes, even despite what has happened to us, what we’re going through, and even what may happen to us. Every time, we have a choice. Choose to be happy. It’s a powerful choice because we’re choosing the outcome of the situation rather than letting the situation determine the outcome of our lives. And when we choose to be happy, we’ll find freedom – freedom from critics, failures, and fears. And ultimately this happiness will give us the freedom to be who we’re meant to be and we’ll excitedly embrace each moment that comes our way.
Be happy with who you are, as flawed as you think you are. Be happy with where you’re at, for this moment will never come again. Be happy with what you have, for it’s in your wants that creates unhappiness.
Be happy now. Not tomorrow. Not when. Not later. But now.
©2016 Susie Lee
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui are simple concepts yet profoundly effective. When applied to your life, it can be absolutely transformational. You will experience more peace, joy, love, strength, and energy. And you’ll soon realize that at any given moment you have the power to change the outcome of a situation, conversation, or feeling – simply by incorporating these four agreements into your mind, actions, or words. Once you make these agreements with yourself, they’ll become second nature to how you think, feel, and respond. For an in-depth look into The Four Agreements, you can pick up or download a copy of his book here.
©2016 Susie Lee
One of the sure ways to grow is to get out of our comfort zones. I know it’s not always easy because we’ll experience discomfort, insecurity, or growing pains. But getting out of our comfort zone will challenge us, stretch us, and shape us. It’s purpose is to develop and strengthen us. Sometimes, being open minded and being willing to see things from a different perspective is half the battle. Here are some ways to get you out of your comfort zone.
©2016 Susie Lee
There are going to be days when you doubt your destiny, lose your way, or feel insecure with who you are. This is a part of your journey. You’ll never have it all together, you won’t always be happy, and you won’t be sure of who you are all the time. Instead of beating yourself up over it, just go with the winds of change within yourself. In life, there will be seasons of growth and change, and there will be seasons of restlessness and rest. We can’t always be productive, purposeful, and passionate. Some days, just getting dressed will be a huge accomplishment. If you’re in this cold dark season, be gentle with yourself, keep moving, and stop criticizing yourself. You’re not going to stay stuck in this place of complacency forever. I know it may feel like it now but you’re not – you’ll get your zest and motivation back. Until then, just live and be.
©2015 Susie Lee
More often than not, we’d rather run away from our pain, problem, or hurt than to face it head on. But I believe a lesson never goes away until we learn what they’re supposed to teach us. We can avoid difficult people or we can learn how to love them beyond our capacity. We can be frustrated at a problem or think of a creative solution to get through it. We can stay mad or we can learn to let go. We have choices everyday, and these choices will either make or break us. It’s not always easy to do the right thing or be the better person but for the sake of our spiritual growth and mental peace, we must let love guide us in our decision making process. And when we do, we’ll find that our pain won’t have a grip on us any longer because we’ve been set free.
©2015 Susie Lee
When I was growing up, I didn’t think I had many talents but the one thing I knew I had was the gift of encouragement. I loved cheering people up when they were sad or finding a solution when they had a problem. And since I’m generally easy going and happy-go-lucky, I always had a hopeful and optimistic outlook in life, even in hard times.
The fact is, even the happiest of people will have their off-days as they feel unmotivated, uninspired, or are emotionally unavailable. It’ll seem as though they’ve reached their maximum capacity to give – they can only say so many things, in so many ways, so many times.
If this is you right now, keep on moving – no matter how slow it may be. You may feel like ‘what’s the point?’ because you’ve lost your enthusiasm and zest. But these dry spells are necessary for growth as it prunes the unfruitful branches and turns off the autopilot mode. As with all things, this season will pass. And once it’s completed its work in you, you’ll re-gain your balance and start to bear fruit once again. Until then, keep moving.
©2015 Susie Lee
Susie Lee 