Category: Past

Expectations = Frustrations

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Expectations. We all have them. We expect someone to do something. We expect something from someone. It’s okay to have them but it’s not okay to impose them on other people. This is unfair and sometimes, very cruel. Of course we’d never admit we impose expectations on others but a sure way to know if we do is when we experience frustration and disappointment when they don’t comply.

Expectations stem from our own needs. Period. It has nothing to do with anyone else fulfilling them or not fulfilling them. Our expectations come from our fears (or insecurities) within us. And overtime, we adopted an unhealthy pattern of looking to others to help us cope with our fears. This pattern of thinking is not only self-destructive but will also destroy relationships. Our expectations will suppress their freedom of speech and choice. They’ll comply to our demands out of fear, and not out of love.

If you’re in this place now, it’s time to do some soul searching. Ask yourself some hard questions: Why do I feel like I have to do this? Why do I feel like they have to do this with me? Why is this important to me? What would happen if I didn’t do it? What am I afraid of? It’s unrealistic to expect others to meet your needs. All you can do is share your need and release any obligation of meeting them. It’s okay to request but never demand. But you have to accept the fact that the answer may be a ‘No’.

May we look for answers within first before we expect it from others.

©2016 Susie Lee

 

 

Finished by Dan DiFelice.

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Dan DiFelice’s short video, Finished, is powerful, beautiful, and captivating. Wherever you are in life right now and whatever battle you’re fighting –  I hope you find hope, courage, and new-found strength to carry on. May these truthful words resonate deep within and propel you forward to finish, and to finish well.

©2016 Susie Lee

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui.

Susie Lee2 Comments

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui are simple concepts yet profoundly effective. When applied to your life, it can be absolutely transformational. You will experience more peace, joy, love, strength, and energy. And you’ll soon realize that at any given moment you have the power to change the outcome of a situation, conversation, or feeling – simply by incorporating these four agreements into your mind, actions, or words. Once you make these agreements with yourself, they’ll become second nature to how you think, feel, and respond. For an in-depth look into The Four Agreements, you can pick up or download a copy of his book here.

©2016 Susie Lee

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Promise yourself.

Susie LeeLeave a comment

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If someone is unhappy, they’re just unhappy. It’s not your job or responsibility to make them happy or to fix them. But neither should you take their feelings personally, be offended, or hurt by their behavior or words. This isn’t easy to do but you must remember that people are allowed their feelings and you are not responsible for it. If you’re going through this right now – you must stay positive, practice self-care, and fill yourself up with so much love that nothing can disturb your peace. Each new day, promise yourself this:

‘Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet. To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in a loud word, but in great deeds. To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.’ – Christian D. Larson

As you speak this light and truth into your life, may it become so.

©2016 Susie Lee

You’re going to be okay.

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Seasons of Change.

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There are going to be days when you doubt your destiny, lose your way, or feel insecure with who you are. This is a part of your journey. You’ll never have it all together, you won’t always be happy, and you won’t be sure of who you are all the time. Instead of beating yourself up over it, just go with the winds of change within yourself. In life, there will be seasons of growth and change, and there will be seasons of restlessness and rest. We can’t always be productive, purposeful, and passionate. Some days, just getting dressed will be a huge accomplishment. If you’re in this cold dark season, be gentle with yourself, keep moving, and stop criticizing yourself. You’re not going to stay stuck in this place of complacency forever. I know it may feel like it now but you’re not – you’ll get your zest and motivation back. Until then, just live and be.

©2015 Susie Lee

Ruthlessly downsizing.

Susie Lee2 Comments

The other day, I was helping a friend move their parent’s stuff out of their 40+ years house. Twelve hours later, it seemed as though we hadn’t even dented their place. The next day, this forced me to reevaluate my own stuff throughout the rooms, closets, and crawl space. What am I holding on to that I don’t use anymore? And why am I still holding on to it? So I began to ruthlessly get rid of clothes, books, and knick-knacks that I don’t use, look at, or need.

Why do we hold on to unneeded stuff? I’m not just talking about physical stuff but emotional and psychological baggage in our lives such as anger, resentment, fear, regret, worry, pride, or jealousy. The consequences of holding on to these will eventually clutter our minds and occupy space in our emotional living room. It’s not easy getting rid of these destructive feelings because we’ve either grown accustomed to it, attached to it, or it’s too much work to get rid of. And we may even justify keeping our feelings. But at some point, we must honestly ask ourselves, ‘Why am I still holding on to this? Is it helpful, useful, or productive?’ If the answer’s no, get rid of it – it’s just weighing you down. For the sake of our wellbeing, peace of mind, and the health of our relationships, we must ruthlessly de-clutter our emotional baggage on a regular basis.

©2015 Susie Lee

How to stay creative

Susie Lee7 Comments

In my last post, I mentioned that even the happiest of people will have their off-days as they feel unmotivated, uninspired, or are emotionally unavailable. Another area you can shut down in is creativity – the inability to create new ideas, ways to have fun, or problem solve.

Whether you’re a stay home parent or working professional, it’s important to stimulate your mind on a daily basis so you can grow and stay engaged. Sometimes, this may mean stepping away from electronic gadgets, changing up the daily routine, or something simple as trying a new flavour of ice cream. As your creative juices begin to flow back, your mind will be open to new ideas and find creative solutions to problems. You’ll also notice an extra pep in your step and a lighthearted joy in your days. Remember to have fun while being creative. Here are 12 simple ways on how to stay creative:

©2015 Susie Lee

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Reasons Why People Give Up

Susie Lee2 Comments

This is a great info graph on why people give up – whether it’s fulfilling their dreams, maintaining a healthy body, or taking risks. I’m pretty sure we can identify with a few of these reasons at some point in our lives. Of course, it’s much easier to identify these issues rather than to deal with them directly. But in order to move forward in life we must remove these mental stumbling blocks we’ve created for ourselves. Remember, victory and defeat will always start in our minds. So it’s important to think the best of ourselves, maintain a positive outlook in life, and have a heart of gratitude as we look to the future. This’ll make all the difference as we pursue our dreams and create the life we want to live.

©2015 Susie Leewhy people give up