Category: Control

Expectations = Frustrations

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Expectations. We all have them. We expect someone to do something. We expect something from someone. It’s okay to have them but it’s not okay to impose them on other people. This is unfair and sometimes, very cruel. Of course we’d never admit we impose expectations on others but a sure way to know if we do is when we experience frustration and disappointment when they don’t comply.

Expectations stem from our own needs. Period. It has nothing to do with anyone else fulfilling them or not fulfilling them. Our expectations come from our fears (or insecurities) within us. And overtime, we adopted an unhealthy pattern of looking to others to help us cope with our fears. This pattern of thinking is not only self-destructive but will also destroy relationships. Our expectations will suppress their freedom of speech and choice. They’ll comply to our demands out of fear, and not out of love.

If you’re in this place now, it’s time to do some soul searching. Ask yourself some hard questions: Why do I feel like I have to do this? Why do I feel like they have to do this with me? Why is this important to me? What would happen if I didn’t do it? What am I afraid of? It’s unrealistic to expect others to meet your needs. All you can do is share your need and release any obligation of meeting them. It’s okay to request but never demand. But you have to accept the fact that the answer may be a ‘No’.

May we look for answers within first before we expect it from others.

©2016 Susie Lee

 

 

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui.

Susie Lee2 Comments

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui are simple concepts yet profoundly effective. When applied to your life, it can be absolutely transformational. You will experience more peace, joy, love, strength, and energy. And you’ll soon realize that at any given moment you have the power to change the outcome of a situation, conversation, or feeling – simply by incorporating these four agreements into your mind, actions, or words. Once you make these agreements with yourself, they’ll become second nature to how you think, feel, and respond. For an in-depth look into The Four Agreements, you can pick up or download a copy of his book here.

©2016 Susie Lee

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How to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

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One of the sure ways to grow is to get out of our comfort zones. I know it’s not always easy because we’ll experience discomfort, insecurity, or growing pains. But getting out of our comfort zone will challenge us, stretch us, and shape us. It’s purpose is to develop and strengthen us. Sometimes, being open minded and being willing to see things from a different perspective is half the battle. Here are some ways to get you out of your comfort zone.

©2016 Susie Lee

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14 Things Successful People Do On Weekends.

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It’s Friday, and you know what that means right? It’s the weekeeeeend!! Unfortunately, many of us use our weekends to either play catch up or veg out. Instead of taking a mental vacation, why not try these simple steps to reenergize your body, mind, and spirit? Here’s to a fantastic weekend that’ll rev you up for Monday!

©2015 Susie Lee

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How to stay creative

Susie Lee7 Comments

In my last post, I mentioned that even the happiest of people will have their off-days as they feel unmotivated, uninspired, or are emotionally unavailable. Another area you can shut down in is creativity – the inability to create new ideas, ways to have fun, or problem solve.

Whether you’re a stay home parent or working professional, it’s important to stimulate your mind on a daily basis so you can grow and stay engaged. Sometimes, this may mean stepping away from electronic gadgets, changing up the daily routine, or something simple as trying a new flavour of ice cream. As your creative juices begin to flow back, your mind will be open to new ideas and find creative solutions to problems. You’ll also notice an extra pep in your step and a lighthearted joy in your days. Remember to have fun while being creative. Here are 12 simple ways on how to stay creative:

©2015 Susie Lee

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Anything worthwhile takes dedication, discipline, & determination.

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Two months ago, I posted an article on how to unveil your 6-pack. Well, since then I’ve increased my physical activity and decreased my candy/chips consumption. And I’ve exhibited impressive self-control whenever I’ve watched friends indulge in mouth-watering treats. But during the two months, I felt as though my bouts of sugar cravings and hunger pains were all in vain as I looked the same, felt the same, and (sigh) weighed the same.

This article isn’t about losing weight but rather not to be discouraged or give up in life. Results take time. The seemingly small choices we make each day will contribute to the greater overall picture. We may not see immediate results now but we will as time goes on: our bodies will feel lighter after months of healthy eating, we’ll run longer distances without huffing and puffing, emotional wounds will slowly heal with each passing day, and relationships will grow stronger through daily sacrifice and love. Anything worthwhile will take dedication, discipline, and determination.

It seems as though time is the answer to everything – to mend, to heal, to grow, and to flourish. And it’s a lesson in developing perseverance, character, strength, and faith within us. So be patient and don’t give up on what you want in life, work, health, and relationships – for only time will tell…

©2015 Susie Lee

PS I hope you’re all having a great summer so far – whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, and however you’re feeling.

A brush with death fosters thankfulness.

Susie Lee2 Comments

This weekend I had a bit of a scare as my dad collapsed in front of me. Since then I’ve been replaying the scenario of what I could’ve and should’ve have done, kicking myself for not having enough sense to pick up on the warning signs, and haunted by ‘if only I had done this and that’ then he wouldn’t have fallen. Unfortunately, this way of thinking can torment us with regret, guilt, and grief. And in the days to come, we may be tempted to overcompensate, control, and protect our loved ones based on fear. The fact is I did what I could under the circumstances I was in without knowing my dad would’ve collapsed. Although he had a brush with death, he seems to be doing okay today. It was a sobering reminder that we can’t completely protect our loved ones from harm – all we can really do is be thankful that we have another day with them.

©2015 Susie Lee