Category: Trials

Expectations = Frustrations

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Expectations. We all have them. We expect someone to do something. We expect something from someone. It’s okay to have them but it’s not okay to impose them on other people. This is unfair and sometimes, very cruel. Of course we’d never admit we impose expectations on others but a sure way to know if we do is when we experience frustration and disappointment when they don’t comply.

Expectations stem from our own needs. Period. It has nothing to do with anyone else fulfilling them or not fulfilling them. Our expectations come from our fears (or insecurities) within us. And overtime, we adopted an unhealthy pattern of looking to others to help us cope with our fears. This pattern of thinking is not only self-destructive but will also destroy relationships. Our expectations will suppress their freedom of speech and choice. They’ll comply to our demands out of fear, and not out of love.

If you’re in this place now, it’s time to do some soul searching. Ask yourself some hard questions: Why do I feel like I have to do this? Why do I feel like they have to do this with me? Why is this important to me? What would happen if I didn’t do it? What am I afraid of? It’s unrealistic to expect others to meet your needs. All you can do is share your need and release any obligation of meeting them. It’s okay to request but never demand. But you have to accept the fact that the answer may be a ‘No’.

May we look for answers within first before we expect it from others.

©2016 Susie Lee

 

 

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui.

Susie Lee2 Comments

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui are simple concepts yet profoundly effective. When applied to your life, it can be absolutely transformational. You will experience more peace, joy, love, strength, and energy. And you’ll soon realize that at any given moment you have the power to change the outcome of a situation, conversation, or feeling – simply by incorporating these four agreements into your mind, actions, or words. Once you make these agreements with yourself, they’ll become second nature to how you think, feel, and respond. For an in-depth look into The Four Agreements, you can pick up or download a copy of his book here.

©2016 Susie Lee

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Pain will change us.

Susie LeeLeave a comment

This quote is profoundly truthful. Pain will change us more than success or good fortune will ever. And if you’re in the midst of trekking life’s uphill battle – then I wish for you courage and determination to face each day. And when you come out of it, you’ll be wiser and stronger.

©2015 Susie LeePain changes us

Seasons of Change.

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There are going to be days when you doubt your destiny, lose your way, or feel insecure with who you are. This is a part of your journey. You’ll never have it all together, you won’t always be happy, and you won’t be sure of who you are all the time. Instead of beating yourself up over it, just go with the winds of change within yourself. In life, there will be seasons of growth and change, and there will be seasons of restlessness and rest. We can’t always be productive, purposeful, and passionate. Some days, just getting dressed will be a huge accomplishment. If you’re in this cold dark season, be gentle with yourself, keep moving, and stop criticizing yourself. You’re not going to stay stuck in this place of complacency forever. I know it may feel like it now but you’re not – you’ll get your zest and motivation back. Until then, just live and be.

©2015 Susie Lee

Ruthlessly downsizing.

Susie Lee2 Comments

The other day, I was helping a friend move their parent’s stuff out of their 40+ years house. Twelve hours later, it seemed as though we hadn’t even dented their place. The next day, this forced me to reevaluate my own stuff throughout the rooms, closets, and crawl space. What am I holding on to that I don’t use anymore? And why am I still holding on to it? So I began to ruthlessly get rid of clothes, books, and knick-knacks that I don’t use, look at, or need.

Why do we hold on to unneeded stuff? I’m not just talking about physical stuff but emotional and psychological baggage in our lives such as anger, resentment, fear, regret, worry, pride, or jealousy. The consequences of holding on to these will eventually clutter our minds and occupy space in our emotional living room. It’s not easy getting rid of these destructive feelings because we’ve either grown accustomed to it, attached to it, or it’s too much work to get rid of. And we may even justify keeping our feelings. But at some point, we must honestly ask ourselves, ‘Why am I still holding on to this? Is it helpful, useful, or productive?’ If the answer’s no, get rid of it – it’s just weighing you down. For the sake of our wellbeing, peace of mind, and the health of our relationships, we must ruthlessly de-clutter our emotional baggage on a regular basis.

©2015 Susie Lee

14 Things Successful People Do On Weekends.

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It’s Friday, and you know what that means right? It’s the weekeeeeend!! Unfortunately, many of us use our weekends to either play catch up or veg out. Instead of taking a mental vacation, why not try these simple steps to reenergize your body, mind, and spirit? Here’s to a fantastic weekend that’ll rev you up for Monday!

©2015 Susie Lee

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Inspirational to unmotivated

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When I was growing up, I didn’t think I had many talents but the one thing I knew I had was the gift of encouragement. I loved cheering people up when they were sad or finding a solution when they had a problem. And since I’m generally easy going and happy-go-lucky, I always had a hopeful and optimistic outlook in life, even in hard times.

The fact is, even the happiest of people will have their off-days as they feel unmotivated, uninspired, or are emotionally unavailable. It’ll seem as though they’ve reached their maximum capacity to give – they can only say so many things, in so many ways, so many times.

If this is you right now, keep on moving – no matter how slow it may be. You may feel like ‘what’s the point?’ because you’ve lost your enthusiasm and zest. But these dry spells are necessary for growth as it prunes the unfruitful branches and turns off the autopilot mode. As with all things, this season will pass. And once it’s completed its work in you, you’ll re-gain your balance and start to bear fruit once again. Until then, keep moving.

©2015 Susie Lee