Category: anger

Expectations = Frustrations

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Expectations. We all have them. We expect someone to do something. We expect something from someone. It’s okay to have them but it’s not okay to impose them on other people. This is unfair and sometimes, very cruel. Of course we’d never admit we impose expectations on others but a sure way to know if we do is when we experience frustration and disappointment when they don’t comply.

Expectations stem from our own needs. Period. It has nothing to do with anyone else fulfilling them or not fulfilling them. Our expectations come from our fears (or insecurities) within us. And overtime, we adopted an unhealthy pattern of looking to others to help us cope with our fears. This pattern of thinking is not only self-destructive but will also destroy relationships. Our expectations will suppress their freedom of speech and choice. They’ll comply to our demands out of fear, and not out of love.

If you’re in this place now, it’s time to do some soul searching. Ask yourself some hard questions: Why do I feel like I have to do this? Why do I feel like they have to do this with me? Why is this important to me? What would happen if I didn’t do it? What am I afraid of? It’s unrealistic to expect others to meet your needs. All you can do is share your need and release any obligation of meeting them. It’s okay to request but never demand. But you have to accept the fact that the answer may be a ‘No’.

May we look for answers within first before we expect it from others.

©2016 Susie Lee

 

 

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui.

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The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui are simple concepts yet profoundly effective. When applied to your life, it can be absolutely transformational. You will experience more peace, joy, love, strength, and energy. And you’ll soon realize that at any given moment you have the power to change the outcome of a situation, conversation, or feeling – simply by incorporating these four agreements into your mind, actions, or words. Once you make these agreements with yourself, they’ll become second nature to how you think, feel, and respond. For an in-depth look into The Four Agreements, you can pick up or download a copy of his book here.

©2016 Susie Lee

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Some wounds never heal.

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You’re going to be okay.

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Seasons of Change.

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There are going to be days when you doubt your destiny, lose your way, or feel insecure with who you are. This is a part of your journey. You’ll never have it all together, you won’t always be happy, and you won’t be sure of who you are all the time. Instead of beating yourself up over it, just go with the winds of change within yourself. In life, there will be seasons of growth and change, and there will be seasons of restlessness and rest. We can’t always be productive, purposeful, and passionate. Some days, just getting dressed will be a huge accomplishment. If you’re in this cold dark season, be gentle with yourself, keep moving, and stop criticizing yourself. You’re not going to stay stuck in this place of complacency forever. I know it may feel like it now but you’re not – you’ll get your zest and motivation back. Until then, just live and be.

©2015 Susie Lee

Let love guide you in your pain and struggle.

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More often than not, we’d rather run away from our pain, problem, or hurt than to face it head on. But I believe a lesson never goes away until we learn what they’re supposed to teach us. We can avoid difficult people or we can learn how to love them beyond our capacity. We can be frustrated at a problem or think of a creative solution to get through it. We can stay mad or we can learn to let go. We have choices everyday, and these choices will either make or break us. It’s not always easy to do the right thing or be the better person but for the sake of our spiritual growth and mental peace, we must let love guide us in our decision making process. And when we do, we’ll find that our pain won’t have a grip on us any longer because we’ve been set free.

©2015 Susie Lee

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Beautiful & Truthful

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beautiful and truthful

Ruthlessly downsizing.

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The other day, I was helping a friend move their parent’s stuff out of their 40+ years house. Twelve hours later, it seemed as though we hadn’t even dented their place. The next day, this forced me to reevaluate my own stuff throughout the rooms, closets, and crawl space. What am I holding on to that I don’t use anymore? And why am I still holding on to it? So I began to ruthlessly get rid of clothes, books, and knick-knacks that I don’t use, look at, or need.

Why do we hold on to unneeded stuff? I’m not just talking about physical stuff but emotional and psychological baggage in our lives such as anger, resentment, fear, regret, worry, pride, or jealousy. The consequences of holding on to these will eventually clutter our minds and occupy space in our emotional living room. It’s not easy getting rid of these destructive feelings because we’ve either grown accustomed to it, attached to it, or it’s too much work to get rid of. And we may even justify keeping our feelings. But at some point, we must honestly ask ourselves, ‘Why am I still holding on to this? Is it helpful, useful, or productive?’ If the answer’s no, get rid of it – it’s just weighing you down. For the sake of our wellbeing, peace of mind, and the health of our relationships, we must ruthlessly de-clutter our emotional baggage on a regular basis.

©2015 Susie Lee

Love & Loss

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In your heartache, don’t be reactionary. Sit with your pain as hard as it may be. You’ll be tempted to get angry with the person who’s caused it. But I say sit with it. Allow yourself to feel the ache and mourn the loss. Your anger will dissipate into sadness and sadness will slip into despair. But again, I say sit with your feelings. These moments will reveal what’s within you and give you the courage to make necessary changes. The pain comes from holding on to what needs to be released. This’ll take time, sometimes years. But this process will strengthen and mature you over time. 

Use this time to comfort yourself – listen to your favourite songs, go to your local cafe, read a good book, call a friend, watch a movie, eat at your favourite restaurant, or simply look up at the stars. Overtime, you’ll remember how much good and beauty there is in the world. And that’ll lighten your heart and lift your spirits. Love yourself immensely and tread gently in the days to come. And my hope is that you’ll be stronger, brighter, and more beautiful after your dark storm passes. 

©2015 Susie Lee

Don’t suffer needlessly, take responsibility. 

Susie LeeLeave a comment

IMG_2192We don’t have to suffer needlessly with anger, resentment, or sadness in our lives. We have the power to change our feelings at any given moment. One of the ways we can change our feelings is to take responsibility for it. When we begin to take ownership of our feelings; we’ll stop blaming people for how they’re making us feel, we’ll stop taking offence to their behaviour, and we’ll stop fighting for what they’re not giving to us. Blaming others for how we feel will only bring us heartache, sadness, and pain. This sheer act of taking ownership of our feelings will quickly transform our lives, strengthen our relationships, and alter our attitudes. It’ll also give us a peace of mind, security within, and open doors to communication and growth. May strength, grace, and wisdom guide you in this journey.

©2015 Susie Lee