Living under the shadow of not being good enough

Good Enough. Believe it.

Whether you’re a spouse, friend, parent or child, you may sometimes feels as though you’re not good enough because of how they treat you or how they say things to you. As a result you may feel insecure, insignificant or inadequate when you’re around them. And eventually fear will slowly begin to set in and you’ll try everything in your power to be ‘enough’ for them. But unfortunately your actions, motives, and thoughts will be driven by fear instead of coming from a place of love, freedom, and security. You wonder if you’re enough, you wonder if you’re making them happy, and overtime, you subconsciously begin to hide your true identity for fear of rejection or conflict. Often, you’ll feel like a hamster spinning frantically on its wheel but not going anywhere. At the end of it you’re exhausted, frustrated, and discouraged. And you bitterly realize your efforts are still not enough. You’re not enough.

The hard reality is you can be perfect and meet all their expectations but there’ll always be something that’s lacking in the eyes of the beholder because they’ll always find something else to be unhappy about. So stop trying. I repeat, s-t-o-p! You’re efforts are commendably futile.

Sometimes, people have a way of making you feel small or unimportant because it’s a reflection of what they feel about themselves or what lies within their own hearts. Perhaps they feel insecure or they have trouble loving and accepting themselves or maybe it’s just simply their expectations being placed on you. So remember, how they treat you is NOT a reflection of who you are but rather a reflection of who they are. Unconsciously, it’s how they see themselves and unfortunately they’re projecting this reality onto others, especially those closest to them.

You can’t live for others, at some point you have to start living and loving yourself. Once you begin to love and accept yourself, your confidence and strength will naturally diminish your fear and insecurity of not being good enough. Nothing or nobody will be able to bruise your self-confidence and make you feel unworthy. You’ll be in control of your feelings and you’ll empower your own life choices. You’ll no longer be dictated by what others think, say or do to you. You’ll be immune to their self-destructive ways because you see yourself through your eyes rather than through the eyes of what others think of you. Once you let go of pleasing people, you’ll begin to operate from a place of abundant joy and freedom.

The truth is you ARE enough, more than enough. You’re a beautiful, bright, brilliant and awe-inspiring human being. And yes you’re flawed but in your own perfect way it’s what makes you unique, unmatched and unparalleled to anyone in the history of mankind. Remember, believe and live as though you’re always enough… more than enough. Always.

© 2013 Susie Lee

After a while

After a While

It’s NEVER too late

It’s never too late. It’s never to late to start the career you’ve always dreamed of. It’s never too late to confess your love to the one who got away. It’s never too late to make changes in your current relationship(s). It’s never to late to try something new. It’s never to late to pursue, dream, or imagine. For life is full of surprises everyday. And, I believe, miracles still happen today. But we have to be willing to go out of a limb and take hold of the unknown. We need to be proactive rather than passive. We need to be bold, courageous, and take the chance. Sure, there’s no guarantee how life will turn out but at least you were willing to embrace all life had to offer without regrets. Here’s to beautiful beginnings and surprise endings. Fulfill the destiny you were meant to live.

©2013 Susie Lee

It's never too late

Promise Yourself. Everyday.

Promise Yourself

Letting go is hard but…

Letting go is hard

Sometimes in order to move on, we need to let go of people (or things) in our lives. Occasionally, we have to let go for the sake of the other person so they can carry on with theirs. I’ve found letting go is hard but holding on is even harder. This painful process will tear your heart out and you’ll experience you’re not the same again. Life has a funny way of shaping us through our experiences, people and circumstances. Allow it to change you and reveal the next path before you.

Overtime, the act of letting go will restore your soul, re-balance your life and release your spirit. And the heart-strings that once used to tug so tight are now set free. So throw yourself into the wind and let go. Fall into the arms of emptiness and see what catches you. Close your eyes, walk away and take only the beautiful memories with you. Yes, your heart will ache, long and be desolate but ride out the wave of emotions and see where it carries you.

Trust that life will work out. Have faith that the days ahead of you will look brighter. And have the courage to face a new day. Open your palms and let go… and then wait to see what lands in your hands.

©2013 Susie Lee

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Heartbreak

Heart
I can almost guarantee there will be people and experiences that will break your heart. It’ll ache with loss or it’ll be broken by betrayal. Our hearts are full of contradictory emotions – it expands with thumping beats when it’s elated and contracts with stings of death when it’s sad. At times, the unbearable searing pain of sorrow rips our hearts apart and leaves emptiness deep within our souls. And so we begin to carry the heavy weight of our hearts into isolation and despair.

We can respond to heartbreaks in two ways, we can make a vow to never give our hearts away or we can risk being vulnerable again – to simply be human. It takes courage to choose the latter.

Let life not harden your heart or let people break your trust in humanity. Let your heartache not paint the canvas of your life with protectiveness, fear and disillusionment – for this isn’t truly living life to the fullest. Rather acknowledge the pain, take time to mourn the loss and have the courage to open yourself up again because life is beautiful, yes, even in the painful moments. I’ve learned that beauty is born out of our struggles, our losses and the excruciating pain in life. It’s what makes us beautiful, sensitive and compassionate.

Allow your heartache to transform you. Let your sorrow enlighten you. And use the pain to make you stronger, not in the sense of being unbreakable but being malleable. Trust me, in time your heart will heal…

Stay open. Be vulnerable.

©2013 Susie Lee

Introvert vs. Extrovert

I Like Being Alone

In my life, there are seasons where I’m an introvert and at other times an extrovert. I don’t believe we can define ourselves as one or the other because we’re gradually changing over time. Our moods are influenced by our outward circumstances and our attitudes are affected by our inner state of mind. We’re also, influenced by the people around us – we may take the backseat around those who are more exuberant than us or take the limelight around those who are quieter than us.

Lately, I’ve learned not to judge myself or put myself in a box. There’s no right or wrong, better or worse, good or bad. Rather we need to learn to embrace the mystery of who we are in the different stages of life. We’re both wonderful and beautiful, simple yet complicated, whole yet broken. There are so many contradictions within us, so many colours of emotions, so many arrays of thoughts, things we do in the shadows of our intent. There wouldn’t be enough lifetimes to discover everything about ourselves because we’re constantly changing. Be self aware but not self-critical. Let it lead you to a place of beauty, truth and love of yourself.

©2013 Susie Lee

“Golf balls, pebbles & beer: An analogy for life”

Golf balls

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes. ’The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. ’Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions — and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else – the small stuff. ’If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first— the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers with a friend.

– by Author Unknown

21 Suggestions For Success

21 Suggestions for Success

At this moment, how many of these can you say you’ve checked off your list? In order to be successful, do a little bit of these everyday. ©2013 Susie Lee