Category: Health & Body

Proactively Being Happy

Susie Lee3 Comments

Sometimes, the harsh realities of life can weigh us down with doubt, confusion, depression, and anxiety.  Overtime, these patterns of thoughts and feelings will have a negative impact on our health and well-being.  To combat this, I want to give you 10 simple steps that will transform your outlook in life.

1.     Count your blessings. Name 3 things that went well today.
2.     Consider what you have. List 3 things that you appreciate about your life.
3.     Express thanks.  Write a letter to someone who made an impact on your life.
4.     Play to your strengths.  List your top 3 strengths.
5.     Make love count.  Set aside time to spend with your partner.
6.     Look on the bright side. Write a story about your ‘best future self.’
7.     Find meaning in your work.  List 3 reasons you feel passionate about your work, or how your work contributes to the greater good.
8.     Do a good deed. Practice acts of kindness to those you care about as well as to strangers.
9.     Make positive connections. Smile at someone you pass on the street or in the elevator.
10.  Do what you love. When you do something you enjoy, you will naturally drift into a satisfying ‘sense of flow.’

Take your time with this list.  I encourage you to focus on one or two of these steps of a day.  And work your way through all of them over the next few weeks.  After you’ve completed the list, repeat the steps, cycling it over again in the coming months.  Eventually, your positive outlook will become second nature as you see the brighter side of things, in people and in life.  It’s not to say the dark realities will vanish from our lives but we’re choosing to see the better side of things, which puts it into perspective.  Here’s to a happier you and a brighter world.

© Susie Lee 2012

To insure good health:  eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.
– William Londen

*10 Steps to a Happier Life was written by Michele Cohen Marill (From Pink Magazine 2008)

Poste of the Week | Happiness is a choice. Choose happy.

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If I Don’t Start, I Don’t Have a Problem

Susie Lee1 Comment

I love reading books especially the ones that are filled with pockets of wisdom for everyday living.  Today, I’d like to give you a simple and practical tool from Magic Words – 101 Ways to Talk Your Way Through Life’s Challenges.  Thank you to my good friend, Nisha, who recommended this book to me!

(Magic Words #31)
IF I DON’T START, I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM

Betcha can’t eat just one: that old potato chip commercial definitely hits a very deep nerve.  Think Ben & Jerry’s, M&M’s, whipped cream, French fries, triple chocolate-chip cookies…even pickles.

Jeri, a newspaper reporter, was working on an important investigative piece on a labor racketeering project.  Since she was on a tight deadline, she found herself getting takeout lunches from the gourmet shop next door to her office.  For the first week she stuck to her usual turkey sandwich or tuna-from-a can with Diet Dr Pepper, but then she spied a row of large round glass self-service containers of nuts and dried fruits behind the deli area.  Knowing she had a weakness for unsalted cashews, she stayed away.  But one day, just as a special treat, she scooped a handful of jumbo nuts into a plastic bag.  The next day she was back, snapping up some more.

A week later, she was eating cashews for afternoon snacks and popping a few on the subway ride home.  Two months passed, and she’d gain seven pounds plus a couple more from overdosing on morning Danish and wolfing down chunks of Taleggio cheese with an evening glass of wine.

We told her about Dr. Stephen Gullo, a well-known weight control expert who would be able to help her quit the cashew habit.  She made an appointment with him for the following week.

Jeri’s problem is a common one.  Many of us, according to Dr. Gullo, have “trigger foods” that activate a “can’t resist” process.  Potato chips are a great example.  Ice cream, bread, cake, and cookies are all culprits, as is almost anything that contains chocolate.  How do you stop the process?  Dr. Gullo prescribes these magic words: If I don’t start, I don’t have a problem.

Jeri wrote them on a piece of paper, which she Scotch-taped to her change purse.  If she surrendered to her urges and loaded up on cashews, when she reached the checkout counter she’d give them back to the cashier.  If she was at a party and a bowl of nuts came into view, Dr. Gullo advised that she move out of range immediately and repeat the magic words to herself.  At the end of three weeks, Jeri had shed half a dozen pounds and was well on her way to zipping up her Levi’s again.

Dr. Gullo’s magic words also work for problems that don’t involve food.  For instance, it’s easy to start complaining in today’s stressful employment climate – the boss is inaccessible, the hours are excruciating, the pay is unfair, blah, blah, blah.  Complaining begets more complaining and inevitably the boss finds out who started the griping, so it’s bad for the complainer – and for general morale.  A lot of people have a tendency to air grievances around the water cooler.  If you’re one of those who sets up a negative situation, do yourself a favor and say “If I don’t start…” and you and your co-workers will steer clear of a common problem.

Nagging is another prime area where “If you don’t start” has a positive effect.  Unfortunately, women have been stereotyped as naggers, though in many cases they nag for a good reason.  Men nag too.  We think it can easily be stopped by changing the magic words slightly, to “If I don’t start, WE don’t have a problem.”

From nachos to nagging, cashews to complaining, the best approach to stopping something you shouldn’t be doing is not starting in the first place.

-Magic Words – 101 Ways to Talk Your Way Through Life’s Challenges
by Howard Kaminsky & Alexandra Penney (pg. 87-89)

Disappointments | Re-evaluate & Re-create

Susie Lee2 Comments

At some point in our lives, it’s inevitable we’ll face disappointments. It might be with our career, relationships (or a lack of), health or the world at large.  The good news is that disappointments come whenever we attempt to do anything great in our lives or for the world.  The not so good news is that it’s closely followed by resistance, doubt, cynicism, or setbacks in the pursuit of that greatness.

Why this gloomy topic?  Because I know some of us are in this journey right now.  Disappointments will often crush determination with hopelessness, despair and “what’s the use?”  Our minds and bodies will begin to shut down with weariness.  I find when I’m in this place; it helps to step away from my efforts and rest.  In the meantime, I connect with my family and friends for encouragement – drawing strength and wisdom from them.  I, also, read books, get out in nature, watch movies and listen to songs that will inspire me, as it fills me up with love, light and life. After a period of time, I have the newfound energy to help me move forward with clarity, courage and creativity.

But I understand this overwhelming feeling of despair might be a heavy burden for some people to carry that they may decide to throw in the towel.  For others, this feeling of despair may become a catalyst to grow stronger and wiser – fueling their passion, energy, and creativity.  They can choose to remain in despair or see the undercurrent of hope.  For many people, this is where the rubber meets the road.

My message to you is don’t give up on your convictions.  Disappointments are a part of the journey; it’s a sign that you’re closer to success than when you first started.  You’re an amazing being who is highly adaptable and strong-willed.  When the weight of the world is crushing you – there’s still more inside of you.  You can never be completely crushed unless you allow it.  Continue to explore, discover, create and dream of a better world… and a better you.

© 2012 Susie Lee

*This article is dedicated to my aquaterra tv co-host Peter Ormesher

Quotes ::
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment,
put your head down and plow ahead.
– Les Brown

Enthusiasm is followed by disappointment and even depression,
and then by renewed enthusiasm.
– Murray Gell-Mann

Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal;
it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.
– Eliza Tabor

One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.
– Henry Ward Beecher

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;and how you handle disappointment along the way.
– Robert Kiyosaki

Giving Something Up in Exchange for Something Greater

Susie Lee2 Comments

Around this time of year, many Christians and Catholics from around the world observe Lent. They choose to abstain from certain foods or pleasurable activities for 40 days leading up to the single most important event of their faith, the resurrection of Jesus Christ, otherwise known as Easter. Some popular choices include, giving up desserts, taking time out from social media, refraining from deep fried foods, being caffeine-free or simply unplugging the TV… I know it sounds absurd, why would anyone want to give these up? It’s an annual spiritual pilgrimage believers go on to grow closer to God and grow stronger in their faith. So instead of surfing on their iPhone they might use that time to read their Bible or write in their journal. Or when tempted to reach for the sprinkle colored donut, they might see it as a reminder to pray for family, friends or the world around them. This may be a foreign, even strange, concept to those who aren’t familiar with Lent.

I believe this practice of ‘giving something up in exchange’ can benefit anyone. Your exchange may not be for spiritual reasons but you can make it deeply personal and meaningful. It can be giving up something tangible like your late night snacks to the intangible like a negative attitude? Or instead of giving up, why not take something on? Encourage a person everyday, ‘ungrudge’ those grudges, look on the brighter side of things, read to the elderly, become a Big Brother or Sister, write that book or take that class?

Over time, this practice will de-clutter the mind and create more space within the soul to grow. It will help you to focus by letting go of things that slowly steal your time or letting go of attitudes that unconsciously hold you back. I’m not advocating that vices are bad but I believe, sometimes, they have an invisible hold on us. How strong – only you would know. I’m confident that you will feel and see a difference within 40 days. If you’ve decided to take up this challenge, I would love to hear how your journey’s going – where it’s taking you and where you are.

I’ve heard it takes 21 days to break a habit and 30 days to retrain a new one. Hmm… This sounds vaguely like the New Year’s resolutions doesn’t it? And while we’re on that topic, how’s that going for you these days?

© 2012 Susie Lee

Acceptance :: One of the Hardest Things

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Tom has the tendency to have a pessimistic outlook in life.  Stacy gets defensive and takes things personally.  Susan is usually consumed with her own problems that she fails to see the needs of other’s around her.  David is frugal with his money, time and affection.  Darcy is rude, inconsiderate and holds on to grudges.  Charlie is suspicious and thinks the worst of everyone.

You may have encountered some of these fictional characters in real life or may be living under the same roof with one.  At some point in time, you may have secretly (or openly) wished they were better, different, exciting, spontaneous, funny, or outgoing.  How do we reconcile our feelings with the reality of ‘this is the way they are’?  In this article, I’m going to write about one of the hardest things to do in life but an essential component in relationships:  Accepting the other person for who they are.  I mean truly accepting them without any unconscious intentions to try to change them, even for the better.

I believe one of the reasons it’s hard to accept another person for who they are is because we have a natural tendency to filter people’s actions, behavior and personality, through our own life experiences, upbringing and perspective.  It’s through this paradigm we view the world and the people in it.  And when they don’t ‘fit’ into our worldview box we come up against feelings of frustration, agitation, or unhappiness.  And unless we change the way we think, give up our ‘only-best-right way’ attitude, shift our paradigm, alter our perspective, this mountain will remain impossible to climb.  So how do we do this?

Like most things in life, we always have a choice.  In this case, we can choose to accept or change the person or walk away.  In accepting the person with their ‘flaws’ we let go of control, experience a peace of mind, invite harmony into the relationship and see the bigger picture of life.  On the other hand, if you’re determined to change them you’ll end up on a dead end road of frustration and a battle of wills.  But if the first two options are not feasible or working out for you the way you’d like, then the third option might be the best solution for the both of you.

The irony of trying to change someone is that it is us who changes, for the worse.  Let me explain, your decision will ultimately affect you.  If you choose to accept someone for who they are, the possible benefits you’ll reap will be having more patience, peace, freedom, compassion, and unity.  But the consequences of trying to change someone will cripple you with cynicism, negativity, unwillingness, bitterness, anger, or resentment.  This change in you won’t happen overnight but over a period of time.

My motto lately for acceptance has been, “Life’s too short.”  Life’s too short to fuss and fume. Too short to stay upset and hold a grudge.  Too short to point the finger and accuse.  Too short to be miserable because the person is not what they’re ‘suppose’ to be.  Too short to believe the myth I’d be happier if they changed.  Ultimately what I’m demanding them to be is a mirrored image of myself.  And I guarantee eventually I’ll find a flaw or two.

Of course, there are exceptions to every case; you don’t want to condone destructive habits or abusive behavior.  Tough love will call for a change and for a period of time, you may need to love them from a distance while they get the help they need.

One of the key ways in accepting another person is through appreciation.  Focus on the good qualities they already possess – strengths, positive character traits, accomplishments, their hopes and dreams.  Then share this admiration to the person genuinely without expecting anything in return.  I believe this seed of authentic appreciation and unconditional acceptance will blossom into something beautiful in them.  And please don’t be hurt or offended if they don’t appreciate your appreciation, this is bound to happen.  Mainly, you have to do it for yourself, your peace of mind, sanity, and happiness.  And my hope is that one day you’ll also experience the same unconditional acceptance you showed to others.  Making this world a beautiful place to live in.

©2012 Susie Lee

Food for Thought ::
“Strive to be patient; bear with the faults and frailties of others, for you, too, have many faults which others have to bear.  If you cannot mould yourself as you would wish, how can you expect other people to be entirely to your liking?  For we require other people to be perfect, but do not correct our own faults.
We wish to see others severely reprimanded; yet we are unwilling to be corrected ourselves.  We wish to restrict the liberty of others, but are not willing to be denied anything ourselves.  We wish others to be bound by rules, yet we will not let ourselves be bound.  It is amply evident, therefore, that we seldom consider our neighbor in the same light as ourselves…”
-The Imitation of Christ pg. 44

Quotes ::
You take people as far as they will go,
not as far as you would like them to go.
-Jeannette Rankin

Whenever two people meet there are really six people present.
There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him,
and each man as he really is.
-William James

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
-Unknown

When you find peace within yourself,
you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.
-Peace Pilgrim

Unmet Expectations

Susie Lee1 Comment

It’s February 14th and the woman has high unspoken hopes that her man will make this day very, very special.  She anticipates either a romantic getaway or a fine dining experience or perhaps a long awaited engagement ring.  But when he fails to meet her expectations, she becomes sorely disappointed and deeply hurt.  She assumes he does not love or cherish her.  She tries to persuade him that if he did what he was supposed to do, she wouldn’t be feeling this way.  She finally lashes out at him in rage and anger because she feels unloved, unheard, misunderstood or all of the above.  This special night soon turns into an ugly battle of accusations.  Of course this is just a hypothetical scenario but I’m sure it happens to some couples every year.  Unmet expectations.

How many times do we set ourselves up for misery and loneliness when we have unmet expectations?  We want things to be a certain way or people to behave in a certain way and when they don’t live up to our expectations, we begin to blame, criticize, compare, make assumptions, hold grudges, or play the victim – driving the wedge deeper into our pain and in between the relationship.  Expectations can be unrealistic because unconsciously we’re asking people to be perfect.  And no one is.  And it can also, be self-centered because it focus’ on our needs and wants.  And if unmet, our reaction can be selfish and destructive because we’re more concerned about what we didn’t get, at the expense of harmony.

We cannot rely on others to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and deceive ourselves that they will make us happy.  It’s a vicious trap that will only lead to strife and much pain for us and involuntary for the other person.  Expectations may rise from a deeper issue:  Do you love me?  Do you respect me?  Am I important to you?  Am I priority in your thoughts and in your life?  The next time you feel an expectation creeping up, step back and ask yourself these questions.  If you start the conversation from there, it’ll save you a lot of pain and heartache.  Love never demands but requests.  But you’ll have to accept the fact that the answer may sometimes be a “No.”

Always remember whenever we set expectations, we set people up for failure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.

© 2012 Susie Lee

We Become What We Think

Susie Lee2 Comments

It’s been said that struggles in life build character but I’m slowly learning it actually reveals character.  Especially after watching these three trailer documentaries:  Undefeated, This is Not a Film, and The Island President.  It inspires us to believe in ourselves, hope against the odds and know that people do not define us.  You can preview these trailers on http://trailers.apple.com/

We’re capable of so much more than we ‘think’, especially under pressure, confinement or survival.  Yet this strength is not rooted in our hands or the weapons we use but rather rooted in our minds.  It is where will power and impossibilities are created.  Our mind is the springboard that motivates us, triggers solutions, stimulates creativity and instills hope.

Overtime, what you think about constantly will grow within you, whether they are positive or negative.  Those thoughts will create feelings of joy or unhappiness.  And eventually move us into action or inaction.  And so this cycle begins, from the outflow of thoughts come feelings, and from feelings come actions.  We slowly become what we think:  Optimistic or pessimistic, happy or depressed, grateful or ungrateful, loving or bitter and the list goes on.

But there’s hope because we can break this cycle anytime.  We have a choice in every thought, in every feeling and in every action.  We are responsible.  We can never really blame anyone for how we feel, for where we’re at, or what we do (or don’t do).  At any given moment you always have a choice and it all comes down to your attitude.  Will you stay angry or forgive?  Blame or take responsibility?  Complain or be the solution?  You must start with yourself.  Pointing your finger at others even if you’re ‘right’ or have the best intentions will not change them or the situation.  Starting with you will be the first step towards your happiness, sanity and future.  Remember whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing.

Mind over matter application : :
We can’t control how others treat us but we have a choice in how we react to them.
We are not upset by what people say.  We are upset by what we make it mean.
The body manifests what the mind harbors. Think positive thoughts.
Your positive or negative choices will affect the other person.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.  Think the best of them.
Focus on people’s strength rather than their weaknesses.
Choose for your communication to be effective.
Others are as you think they are.
You are what you think you are.
Encourage rather than criticize.
Accept it or change it.
Let love lead you.
Always.

© 2012 Susie Lee

Recommended Reading : :
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins
As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

“When you give someone a book, you don’t give him just paper, ink, and glue.
You give him the possibility of a whole new life.”
–Christopher Morley

12 Secrets of Being Happy

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Today, I’d like to share someone else’s article with you. Linda Kelsey takes 12 secrets of being happy from The World Book of Happiness by Leo Bormans, which offers practical ways to make your day brighter. I believe these simple choices will be life altering. I dedicate this article to my sister, Diane and to all who are in the pursuit of happiness in their lives.

To read the article click the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2090271/12-secrets-happy-Using-research-100-world-experts-new-book-shows-look-bright-side.html

We have the power to choose today!

Quotes of the Week: Do It Now!

Susie Lee2 Comments

“What you are planning to do tomorrow, do today;
what you are going to do today, do right now.”
-Indian Proverb

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers.
But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.”
-Sarah Ban Breathnach

This week I encourage you:
Don’t procrastinate. Don’t wait. Don’t fear. Don’t doubt.
Take the risk. Do it now. Seize the moment. Dream BIG.
And take positive steps towards it.
-susie lee

Have a great surprised filled week!