Disappointments | Re-evaluate & Re-create

At some point in our lives, it’s inevitable we’ll face disappointments. It might be with our career, relationships (or a lack of), health or the world at large.  The good news is that disappointments come whenever we attempt to do anything great in our lives or for the world.  The not so good news is that it’s closely followed by resistance, doubt, cynicism, or setbacks in the pursuit of that greatness.

Why this gloomy topic?  Because I know some of us are in this journey right now.  Disappointments will often crush determination with hopelessness, despair and “what’s the use?”  Our minds and bodies will begin to shut down with weariness.  I find when I’m in this place; it helps to step away from my efforts and rest.  In the meantime, I connect with my family and friends for encouragement – drawing strength and wisdom from them.  I, also, read books, get out in nature, watch movies and listen to songs that will inspire me, as it fills me up with love, light and life. After a period of time, I have the newfound energy to help me move forward with clarity, courage and creativity.

But I understand this overwhelming feeling of despair might be a heavy burden for some people to carry that they may decide to throw in the towel.  For others, this feeling of despair may become a catalyst to grow stronger and wiser – fueling their passion, energy, and creativity.  They can choose to remain in despair or see the undercurrent of hope.  For many people, this is where the rubber meets the road.

My message to you is don’t give up on your convictions.  Disappointments are a part of the journey; it’s a sign that you’re closer to success than when you first started.  You’re an amazing being who is highly adaptable and strong-willed.  When the weight of the world is crushing you – there’s still more inside of you.  You can never be completely crushed unless you allow it.  Continue to explore, discover, create and dream of a better world… and a better you.

© 2012 Susie Lee

*This article is dedicated to my aquaterra tv co-host Peter Ormesher

Quotes ::
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment,
put your head down and plow ahead.
– Les Brown

Enthusiasm is followed by disappointment and even depression,
and then by renewed enthusiasm.
– Murray Gell-Mann

Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal;
it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.
– Eliza Tabor

One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.
– Henry Ward Beecher

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;and how you handle disappointment along the way.
– Robert Kiyosaki

Unmet Expectations

It’s February 14th and the woman has high unspoken hopes that her man will make this day very, very special.  She anticipates either a romantic getaway or a fine dining experience or perhaps a long awaited engagement ring.  But when he fails to meet her expectations, she becomes sorely disappointed and deeply hurt.  She assumes he does not love or cherish her.  She tries to persuade him that if he did what he was supposed to do, she wouldn’t be feeling this way.  She finally lashes out at him in rage and anger because she feels unloved, unheard, misunderstood or all of the above.  This special night soon turns into an ugly battle of accusations.  Of course this is just a hypothetical scenario but I’m sure it happens to some couples every year.  Unmet expectations.

How many times do we set ourselves up for misery and loneliness when we have unmet expectations?  We want things to be a certain way or people to behave in a certain way and when they don’t live up to our expectations, we begin to blame, criticize, compare, make assumptions, hold grudges, or play the victim – driving the wedge deeper into our pain and in between the relationship.  Expectations can be unrealistic because unconsciously we’re asking people to be perfect.  And no one is.  And it can also, be self-centered because it focus’ on our needs and wants.  And if unmet, our reaction can be selfish and destructive because we’re more concerned about what we didn’t get, at the expense of harmony.

We cannot rely on others to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and deceive ourselves that they will make us happy.  It’s a vicious trap that will only lead to strife and much pain for us and involuntary for the other person.  Expectations may rise from a deeper issue:  Do you love me?  Do you respect me?  Am I important to you?  Am I priority in your thoughts and in your life?  The next time you feel an expectation creeping up, step back and ask yourself these questions.  If you start the conversation from there, it’ll save you a lot of pain and heartache.  Love never demands but requests.  But you’ll have to accept the fact that the answer may sometimes be a “No.”

Always remember whenever we set expectations, we set people up for failure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.

© 2012 Susie Lee