May we live with our hearts wide open to embrace all the goodness life has to offer, and to live fearlessly and love generously. -Susie Lee
Tag: love
Quotes of the Week | Pursuit of Happiness
When in doubt, choose Love.
– Anonymous
Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
– Rumi
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
– Maya Angelou
The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.
– Rumi
Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
– Anonymous
The appearance of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty really are in ourselves.
– Kahlil Gibran
Find the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or stay awake just to watch you sleep. The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”.
– Anonymous
Quotes of the Week | Words to Live By
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.
– Marcel Pagnol
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
– Will Rogers
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
– Anonymous
You are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations,
nor should you feel the world must live up to yours.
– F Perl
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.
– Harvey Fierstein
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
– John Wooden
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love,
and let it come in.
– Morrie Schwartz
Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things, It comes and sits softly on your shoulder.
– Henry David Thoreau
It’s impossible” said pride.
“It’s risky” said experience.
“It’s pointless” said reason.
“Give it a try” whispered the heart.
– Anonymous
Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
– Rumi
Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
-Anonymous
Quote of the Week | Live in the Moment
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
– Unknown
Quotes of the Week | Love
Every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says,
‘Make me feel important.’ If you can do that, you’ll be a success not only in business,
but in life as well.
-Mary Kay Ash
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
-Mother Teresa
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.
-Dalai Lama
Love will find a way.
Indifference will find an excuse.
-Ukrainian proverb
Loving Without Condoning Poor Behavior
It’s Saturday and you wake up to a beautiful sunny morning. You’re looking forward to an unplanned day filled with endless possibilities. You’re happy and rested. Suddenly out of left field you’re smacked with a curve ball on the side of your head with a rant of accusations by a frustrated loved one. All before stepping out of bed.
A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on Acceptance | One of the Hardest Things to Do. And I asked myself ‘Where do you draw the line between accepting the person without condoning their ‘off the handle’ behavior?’ Accepting them for who they are does not mean you have to agree with their behavior. In fact, tough love will require you to have the courage to confront. The key factor to confrontation is that your intentions need to come from a place of love and the well being for that person rather than from a place of anger or spite. And even with your best intentions, it may still be received with defensiveness, anger, resistance, or withdrawal.
It’s natural for us to protect ourselves and take the path of the least resistant and remain silent. But overtime, your inner fuming and staying bitter towards them will harm you. Never make the assumption they’ll pick up on your silent cues and magically put the pieces together, or that they’ll feel remorseful for their actions and take the first step towards reconciliation. They’re not mind readers, they can see you’re upset but they won’t necessarily know why you’re upset. Plus they’re still probably upset themselves and wondering why you haven’t figured it out. This will only create more distance between the both of you and at this point, become a battle of wills. So take the initiative to clearly and objectively communicate what you’re seeing, experiencing and feeling.
It’s also good to keep in mind, that people’s frustrations usually stem out of their own personal issues, inner hurts or past woundings. So it’s not you, your actions or words that necessarily trigger them but a hurt, resentment, bitterness that might already be within their hearts. But if they’re not aware of this, they’ll think it’s you and blame you for how they’re feeling. With this in mind, it’s easier to be patient with them as you walk beside them in their journey.
Since these hurricane days come when you least expect it, it’s emotionally difficult to brace for it. Loving the person without condoning their poor behavior is very hard to practice. But it’s possible with compassion, courage, love and truth. After all you’ve said and done, ultimately it’s up to them to choose what they want to do with it. My hope is that they’ll see the love behind your words, take responsibility for their feelings and move toward healthy steps for improvement.
© 2012 Susie Lee
Unmet Expectations
It’s February 14th and the woman has high unspoken hopes that her man will make this day very, very special. She anticipates either a romantic getaway or a fine dining experience or perhaps a long awaited engagement ring. But when he fails to meet her expectations, she becomes sorely disappointed and deeply hurt. She assumes he does not love or cherish her. She tries to persuade him that if he did what he was supposed to do, she wouldn’t be feeling this way. She finally lashes out at him in rage and anger because she feels unloved, unheard, misunderstood or all of the above. This special night soon turns into an ugly battle of accusations. Of course this is just a hypothetical scenario but I’m sure it happens to some couples every year. Unmet expectations.
How many times do we set ourselves up for misery and loneliness when we have unmet expectations? We want things to be a certain way or people to behave in a certain way and when they don’t live up to our expectations, we begin to blame, criticize, compare, make assumptions, hold grudges, or play the victim – driving the wedge deeper into our pain and in between the relationship. Expectations can be unrealistic because unconsciously we’re asking people to be perfect. And no one is. And it can also, be self-centered because it focus’ on our needs and wants. And if unmet, our reaction can be selfish and destructive because we’re more concerned about what we didn’t get, at the expense of harmony.
We cannot rely on others to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and deceive ourselves that they will make us happy. It’s a vicious trap that will only lead to strife and much pain for us and involuntary for the other person. Expectations may rise from a deeper issue: Do you love me? Do you respect me? Am I important to you? Am I priority in your thoughts and in your life? The next time you feel an expectation creeping up, step back and ask yourself these questions. If you start the conversation from there, it’ll save you a lot of pain and heartache. Love never demands but requests. But you’ll have to accept the fact that the answer may sometimes be a “No.”
Always remember whenever we set expectations, we set people up for failure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.
© 2012 Susie Lee
Susie Lee 