Category: Inspirational

Quotes of the Week | Pursuit of Happiness

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When in doubt, choose Love.
– Anonymous

Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
– Rumi

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
– Maya Angelou

The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.
– Rumi

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
– Anonymous

The appearance of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty really are in ourselves.
– Kahlil Gibran

Find the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or stay awake just to watch you sleep. The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”.
– Anonymous

Loving Without Condoning Poor Behavior

Susie LeeLeave a comment

It’s Saturday and you wake up to a beautiful sunny morning.  You’re looking forward to an unplanned day filled with endless possibilities.  You’re happy and rested.  Suddenly out of left field you’re smacked with a curve ball on the side of your head with a rant of accusations by a frustrated loved one.  All before stepping out of bed.

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on Acceptance | One of the Hardest Things to Do.  And I asked myself ‘Where do you draw the line between accepting the person without condoning their ‘off the handle’ behavior?’  Accepting them for who they are does not mean you have to agree with their behavior.  In fact, tough love will require you to have the courage to confront.  The key factor to confrontation is that your intentions need to come from a place of love and the well being for that person rather than from a place of anger or spite.  And even with your best intentions, it may still be received with defensiveness, anger, resistance, or withdrawal.

It’s natural for us to protect ourselves and take the path of the least resistant and remain silent.  But overtime, your inner fuming and staying bitter towards them will harm you.  Never make the assumption they’ll pick up on your silent cues and magically put the pieces together, or that they’ll feel remorseful for their actions and take the first step towards reconciliation.  They’re not mind readers, they can see you’re upset but they won’t necessarily know why you’re upset.  Plus they’re still probably upset themselves and wondering why you haven’t figured it out.  This will only create more distance between the both of you and at this point, become a battle of wills.  So take the initiative to clearly and objectively communicate what you’re seeing, experiencing and feeling.

It’s also good to keep in mind, that people’s frustrations usually stem out of their own personal issues, inner hurts or past woundings.  So it’s not you, your actions or words that necessarily trigger them but a hurt, resentment, bitterness that might already be within their hearts.  But if they’re not aware of this, they’ll think it’s you and blame you for how they’re feeling.  With this in mind, it’s easier to be patient with them as you walk beside them in their journey.

Since these hurricane days come when you least expect it, it’s emotionally difficult to brace for it.  Loving the person without condoning their poor behavior is very hard to practice.  But it’s possible with compassion, courage, love and truth.  After all you’ve said and done, ultimately it’s up to them to choose what they want to do with it.  My hope is that they’ll see the love behind your words, take responsibility for their feelings and move toward healthy steps for improvement.

© 2012 Susie Lee

Giving Something Up in Exchange for Something Greater

Susie Lee2 Comments

Around this time of year, many Christians and Catholics from around the world observe Lent. They choose to abstain from certain foods or pleasurable activities for 40 days leading up to the single most important event of their faith, the resurrection of Jesus Christ, otherwise known as Easter. Some popular choices include, giving up desserts, taking time out from social media, refraining from deep fried foods, being caffeine-free or simply unplugging the TV… I know it sounds absurd, why would anyone want to give these up? It’s an annual spiritual pilgrimage believers go on to grow closer to God and grow stronger in their faith. So instead of surfing on their iPhone they might use that time to read their Bible or write in their journal. Or when tempted to reach for the sprinkle colored donut, they might see it as a reminder to pray for family, friends or the world around them. This may be a foreign, even strange, concept to those who aren’t familiar with Lent.

I believe this practice of ‘giving something up in exchange’ can benefit anyone. Your exchange may not be for spiritual reasons but you can make it deeply personal and meaningful. It can be giving up something tangible like your late night snacks to the intangible like a negative attitude? Or instead of giving up, why not take something on? Encourage a person everyday, ‘ungrudge’ those grudges, look on the brighter side of things, read to the elderly, become a Big Brother or Sister, write that book or take that class?

Over time, this practice will de-clutter the mind and create more space within the soul to grow. It will help you to focus by letting go of things that slowly steal your time or letting go of attitudes that unconsciously hold you back. I’m not advocating that vices are bad but I believe, sometimes, they have an invisible hold on us. How strong – only you would know. I’m confident that you will feel and see a difference within 40 days. If you’ve decided to take up this challenge, I would love to hear how your journey’s going – where it’s taking you and where you are.

I’ve heard it takes 21 days to break a habit and 30 days to retrain a new one. Hmm… This sounds vaguely like the New Year’s resolutions doesn’t it? And while we’re on that topic, how’s that going for you these days?

© 2012 Susie Lee

Unmet Expectations

Susie Lee1 Comment

It’s February 14th and the woman has high unspoken hopes that her man will make this day very, very special.  She anticipates either a romantic getaway or a fine dining experience or perhaps a long awaited engagement ring.  But when he fails to meet her expectations, she becomes sorely disappointed and deeply hurt.  She assumes he does not love or cherish her.  She tries to persuade him that if he did what he was supposed to do, she wouldn’t be feeling this way.  She finally lashes out at him in rage and anger because she feels unloved, unheard, misunderstood or all of the above.  This special night soon turns into an ugly battle of accusations.  Of course this is just a hypothetical scenario but I’m sure it happens to some couples every year.  Unmet expectations.

How many times do we set ourselves up for misery and loneliness when we have unmet expectations?  We want things to be a certain way or people to behave in a certain way and when they don’t live up to our expectations, we begin to blame, criticize, compare, make assumptions, hold grudges, or play the victim – driving the wedge deeper into our pain and in between the relationship.  Expectations can be unrealistic because unconsciously we’re asking people to be perfect.  And no one is.  And it can also, be self-centered because it focus’ on our needs and wants.  And if unmet, our reaction can be selfish and destructive because we’re more concerned about what we didn’t get, at the expense of harmony.

We cannot rely on others to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and deceive ourselves that they will make us happy.  It’s a vicious trap that will only lead to strife and much pain for us and involuntary for the other person.  Expectations may rise from a deeper issue:  Do you love me?  Do you respect me?  Am I important to you?  Am I priority in your thoughts and in your life?  The next time you feel an expectation creeping up, step back and ask yourself these questions.  If you start the conversation from there, it’ll save you a lot of pain and heartache.  Love never demands but requests.  But you’ll have to accept the fact that the answer may sometimes be a “No.”

Always remember whenever we set expectations, we set people up for failure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.

© 2012 Susie Lee

Quotes of the Week: Do It Now!

Susie Lee2 Comments

“What you are planning to do tomorrow, do today;
what you are going to do today, do right now.”
-Indian Proverb

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers.
But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.”
-Sarah Ban Breathnach

This week I encourage you:
Don’t procrastinate. Don’t wait. Don’t fear. Don’t doubt.
Take the risk. Do it now. Seize the moment. Dream BIG.
And take positive steps towards it.
-susie lee

Have a great surprised filled week!